“Some people are just plain put off by the sight of God with a raging erection.” This week’s cover story looks at the smuttiest restaurant bathrooms in D.C. This one can be found at Proof. Read the story by Chris Shott and check out the rest of Darrow Montgomery’s photos.

Pity the poor rube who falls into the nitrification tanks!

In this week’s WCP (one day early for the holiday!) Darrow Montgomery makes sewage look pretty at D.C.’s waste management facility. Check out the full photo gallery to see where your waste ends up.

So this happened on the 1000 block of Euclid Street NW… One person’s demolition derby!

Photo by Odochi Ibe

Happy Halloween from all of us at Washington City Paper! We present you: Top 5 D.C. Halloween Costumes (including this horrifying Zombie Sulaimon Brown)

Photo by Darrow Montgomery/Illustration by Brooke Hatfield

In August 1987, Washington City Paper theater critic Bob Mondello sat through Shear Madness at the Kennedy Center. He returned with a lengthy review, titled “Sheer Idiocy,” and the following capsule, which has run in Washington City Paper’s listings section almost every week of the 24 years since:

The “most fun night” Arch Campbell’s ever had at the Kennedy Center is an extended vaudeville routine set in a Georgetown hair salon rather than a play. Funny without ever becoming either witty or clever, it’s an audience-participation whodunit in which we’re encouraged to grill the witnesses and essentially to write our own ending by voting for a guilty party. In practice, there are four endings (one for each suspect), but how the performers get there each evening depends on the questions. There are faggot jokes galore, and shaving-foam jokes, and general stupidity for those looking for froth. It’s not theater exactly, but as empty-headed entertainment it’s not appreciably less stimulating than Cats or a visit to the bowling alley.

Last week, we sent Bob back. Read his re-review here.

This spring, a 32-year-old dude from Brookland named Dave Mann convinced 125 bands to play the inaugural Sweet Tea Pumpkin Pie Festival for free. It was so fun he’s about to do it again.

The second Sweet Tea Pumpkin Pie is this weekend. And Mann is on our cover this week! Read the story, see you at the shows.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

Mark your calendars!

TODAY: Crafty Bastards Arts & Crafts Fair! 10-5 in Adams Morgan. All the shopping and eating and people watching you can handle. Details can be found here.

Where Am I Rocking? The D.C. Rock Venue Decision Tree!

It’s a confusing time to be a D.C. concert-goer. The Fillmore Silver Spring has invaded the established order. DIY spaces flicker and fade like so many lightning bugs. Perhaps you’ve had one too many drinks. If you find yourself at a rock concert and you can’t remember where exactly you are, this might help.—Sadie Dingfelder

TOMORROW: Crafty Bastards Arts & Crafts Fair in Adams Morgan! We might sound a little biased, but this is the best event in D.C. all year.

Check out the fair map, preview the art to make your shopping list, and get all your FAQ answered.

What else is there besides crafts to buy? Food to judge, make something awesome, live demos (screen printing, bike maintenance, knitting), a BBoy battle, and a prize pack worth $800 for you to win. Are you a Crafty veteran? Here’s what you’ll see that’s new this year.

Hungry? This year’s fair will have quite a few vendors including Amsterdam Falafel, Black Squirrel, Carmen’s Italian Ice, Dangerously Delicious Pies, Hill Country Barbecue, Shawarma Spot, Smoothie King, and more.

The fair runs from 10am-5pm (rain or shine) outdoors on the grounds of the Marie Reed Learning Center at 18th & Wyoming in the Adams Morgan neighborhood.

See you there! And come say hi to the City Paper staff at our booth!